It's my choice, and I choose to be happy.

I woke this morning and said "I don't need any of you". I told myself I don't need the drama or the whining, the broken promises or half-hearted commitments. I'm done with the games and the boys. And I say boys because only "boys" play games. I am an independent woman with dreams and goals for my life, and I don't need anyone who will slow me down because they need the temporary fix for a broken heart. 

♥

Earlier today I wrote these words and every single one is true. I'm so done. I'm ready to make a final decision on this part of my life. I'm artist...and as such I CANNOT live with a constant depression. It shows in pictures, you see? 

I need happy.

Happy all around and not just because of one thing someone does but because I happy that i'm content with myself and how i'm living! I just want that for ONE MOMENT in my life. And I will find it. I will get that. I'm officially cutting out the one part of my life that always leads me to be depressed. 

It's like a little kid. You burn your hand...you hurt. You try again if you're stupid enough cause you thought the first time was a practical joke. 

Love goes like this. You love, you hurt, you try again. You never fail to see that's you're stupid to try again cause you thought it was a cruel joke the first time. 

We always wish don't we?

Eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles.

We've tried it all. 

Why don't we try making those wishes happen? You notice we wish for stuff that is totally out of our reach?

....then again maybe we should wish like that. 

I'm just saying from a personal point of view...i'm tired of being sad when a guy walks by and doesn't even look. Or you sit next to a cute guy for an hour in an office or at school and they don't even give you the light of day? You've dressed your best, you DID YOUR HAIR. You had to get up early to do that, you know? Plus you attempted the make up...and you're thinking "Come on, notice". 

I don't want to worry.
I don't want to worry about what some guy thinks of my outfit cause quite honestly, i'm in college. I will most likely be in athletic shorts, hat with a ponytail, a camp t-shirt, and flip-flops. I say...if a guy likes me, he will like me for me. JUST me. If they can't see me for a college girl on the track to success so I didn't have time to get dressed up to come to school, then well...they sure as heck don't deserve to see me at my best. 

So...to the boys:

Learn to treat a woman how they ought to be treated. 

Run with them, don't try to run their life.

Don't think of yourselves higher...it's cocky. We don't like cocky.

You're not cool, so don't try.

When a girl REALLY falls for you, why don't not have the decency to catch her!? 

Try, just once, to make things work.

Do what she likes, not what you could "make her like".

Know that we're giving you a chance with our hearts cause there is something about you we find trustworthy...we're not a game. 

So i've said all I have to say...not much really to follow up with :]

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down."

-Author Unknown

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."  

-Anaïs Nin