Ohhh no. Blog?

I have fallen behind...dang New Years resolutions.

There has been a lot to happen but honestly I can't find myself to put it up in detail, I just can't. 

I feel like i've tried to control things that I can't, therefore I have been let down. For instance, relationships. 

I try to balance or even put up a boundary to how much I like or don't like any person. Something i've learned is that you absolutely CAN NOT control your feelings. 

Some of you may disagree but let me explain...

You can't control your feelings, but you most certain can control what you do with those feelings. 

I put myself in a lot of crap because I didn't know how to control certain feelings. I ran my mouth. I was hurt, so I took it out in anger. No one ever deserves that, you know? 

I like this "new me" and all but honestly I don't understand how I got from one point to the other in such a short amount of time. 

I don't think it's a bad thing actually, I just find it funny how when you put your mind to something how easy it is to do it. Like how I was determined to be honest, i've been very honest. And people respect me more for it...i'm not as quiet and passive as I use to be. I mean I still am in a way, just not ALL the time. But seriously, something i've realized is that it is not that hard to be truthful with someone. Really. 

Something else i've learned to value is friendship. Look at what you have before you write it off. There will be people to do that to you, just think about how it feels before you do the same stupid thing. It hurts doesn't it?

Yeah. I thought so too.

I had a friend from high school, best friend actually, who decided to do that. Ouch? But who needs haters. She got herself a boyfriend so it's not like she needs anyone else, right? Yeah. Just "deleting" people, doesn't make you anymore of a person. Jussss sayin' darlin'. 

But anywhooo.

I have a best friend, Laurel. I don't think there is anyone who has seen every side of me except her. I've cried, laughed, and yelled w/ or at this girl. I jam out in the car with her everyday to and from school to almost anything and everything on the radio. We bust the white girl moves and don't hold back! :P See, now that is a true friend. Never once have a questioned her. Yeah, I may be pissed at her sometimes but i've never once said "i'm done". Because you see when you have a friend like this, they hold the standard for everyone else. 

Peace

<3

Pushed.

Soooo i'm done with 30 day challenge thing if you couldn't tell.

You know what I can't stand? 

DRAMA.

Specifically drama based on the lying.

OH MY GOSH! Can't we just be honest for once?! 

Like honestly, what is so wrong with telling the truth? Someone please tell me? 

It's whatever. Dirt off my shoulder!

All I got to say is that i've said my piece to each of them and I don't take it back. I'm not gonna mention it on here cause I clearly have respect. 

That is ALL I have to say for the night.

<3

"So that's what you call it these days?"

I'm back! I know that's not much of an explanation but that's all that matters. 

I've lived and learned. I fell, picked myself back up, and kept going. Why? Because I believe LIFE GOES ON. We all make mistakes, and those mistakes help us learn. 

 So today was Valentines Day..."singles awareness"/"unnecessary abuse of singles"...whateverrrrr you'd like to call it. I'm sticking to Valentines Day. I had myself a hot Valentines date. I was IMPRESSED. I mean, for real! You think you know a person and all the sudden, they just shock you in the best way possible. Gotta love it! So, overall thought of my VERY FIRST Valentines Day with someone= everything I didn't expect [but in a good way]. Ahhh <3

PS: Laurel, you've still got to tell me about you know what. You're so sharing tomorrow, just saying. 

I can't say that right now i'm upset about anything in my life. I'm in school and really working hard, have some of the most supportive and honest friends ever, i'm finally independent, i'm doing what I love with my God given talent, and i'm happy. Like honestly, I know the whole "be careful when your back is turned" phrase is making it's appearance but I don't think it's nothing I can't handle if something happens you know?

This song btw has been stuck in my head!

That boy can sing and he's fine...woah.

Really, that's all. I would elaborate on my absence but honestly it's past. Nothing to harp on.

Night all

<3

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. " 
- Bob Marley

Drawing can be boring...

I neverrrr thought that a picture would take SO DANG LONG! I have been working on this picture for 7 and a half hours every night this week and i'm not even half way done. But DANG it's gonna look ah-mazing, i'm just saying :]

So in my world at the moment, i'm so content and happy! I'm happy with myself, my school, and my friends. I feel like I have inspiration again! I'm drawing like I use to if not better, it's a nice feeling...especially since I haven't been able to think of any ideas in forever! I am going a bit crazy though...my camera is still sent away and i'm quite saddened. I miss it terribly. 

One more think then the 30 day whatnot. I just want to say thank you for those who haven't judged me. I know there will be people who will, but for those who don't you honestly hold a special place in my heart. I love you all.

30 Day Challenge

Day 19&20

Day 19 Q: Disrespecting your parents.

A: Just one thing about this: No matter how much you fuss and bitch at your parents for taking away your "freedom", the more you realize it's for your own good. Disrespecting them won't make them respect you anymore than they already do. The key is to give them a reason to trust and respect you, and you might just be surprised. Trust me. Been there and I know how it goes.

Day 20 Q: How important you think education is.

A: I believe that without education, there is no job. With diploma of some sort, the likelihood of you succeeding in life is slim to none. I take it seriously and try my hardest. It may be tough, yes, but I know that I am working towards a stepping stone for my life.

That's all!

Sorry for all the short blogs lately, it's just been busy!

<3

Make up blog tomorrow! I promise :] I got caught up doing my picture!

Likes: Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain; yours for the rescuing.

What is there really to say? I'm under attack from every angle and emotion. UGH. Like sometimes I wish I could make sense of it all...organize it? Know what to do? I'm hoping hanging out with Rachel will make things a lot better. That girl can normally make my day, her and Laurel have that ability. I know exactly how this feels physically...i've been in a crazy game of War Ball. You get hit you're out, and if you catch the ball they throw at you then you stay in.

"Today I will look back and smile. Because I know, what happened yesterday is my past. And it's past for a reason. And everything happens for a reason...no matter if we choose to believe it or not."

I have a song for the day, it really made everything a lot better actually. It's me to a point:

Rupert Holmes - Escape

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

I mean, i'd rather be sippin on a Pina Colada while tanning right now. This rain is wearing me OUT! Not that I don't mind it, it's just that dry and hot weather is better. Like I some people who are happy no matter what the weather, and I don't know how ferreal!

30 Day Challenge

Day 18

Q: Your beliefs.

A: I'm gonna do this in quotes:

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." 

"Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you." 

"There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain." 

"Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present, and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future." 

"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it." 

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."

"Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."

"Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry is own weight, this is a frightening prospect."

<3

High school....

God! No matter how old people get they'll always be in high school!

I'm JUST SAYING.

If you have a problem or have anything to say to me? Say it to my face, don't talk behind my back! Just grow up! Honestly it's not that hard, believe me...plenty of people do it every freakin day!

If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all! That's pretty simple. It just requires you keep your mouth shut and thoughts to yourself!

If you can't do that, stay out of my freakin business! It wasn't your crap to talk about in the first place!

That's all.

<3