Sweet dreams and beautiful nightmares.

Sweet dreams and beautiful nightmares

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfil it.

Life is a sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

- Mother Teresa

So lately it's been hard. I was hoping this whole "sticking to my guns" thing would be easy, you know? It's one LESS thing to worry about. I'm not complaining...but i'm just saying it's difficult. It's knowing something isn't good for you but you still want it. I'm happy, really! But I guess I can't explain it well enough. I don't know if it's the fact that Spring Break is starting next week or not...woot? :D 

I got in a wreck yesterday...OH BOY. It wasn't a big wreck but it kinda looks like the right side of my car hit a concrete wall...yikes? My poor storm trooper!

:[

I don't know. I'm just having a day, you know? 

I will stick to my guns dang it. 

But...every girl wants to feel pretty and loved. I can't say I don't want that, that would be denying me. 

What really gets me past those thoughts is this. 

I know one day some really amazing guy is going to come along. He'll come unexpectedly, he'll be everything I ever wanted. He'll inspire me to be more than anything I ever imagined. He'll take me on the cheesiest dates and give me some crazy off-the-wall gifts just cause he wants to make me laugh. He'll be there when i'm sick or I just want to cry cause my crazy life is bringing me down; and hold me when that moment comes along. He'll be a perfect gentlemen. His imperfections will be what makes him perfect. He'll love me when i'm the most unattractive person in the world that day; but I won't be that to him. 

I don't know WHERE he is, but I know he's only miles (and that could mean any amount of miles) away. How cool is that? 

Cause see, I believe in fairy tales. I'll always believe in fairy tales. BECAUSE I believe every girl deserves a happily ever after.

♥

SO, I've taken an interest in studying dreams! I don't know where this whole inspiration came from, but I don't believe I just started liking it "just because". This book i'm reading called "You're Dreams and What They Mean" by Nerys Dee talks about everything from dreams through the ages to the dictionary of signs and symbols. 

An interesting quote among many, on pages 34-35, is one by Ellen S. Hooper.

"I slept and dreamed that life was beauty,

I woke and found that life was duty.

Was my dream, then, a shadowy lie?

Toil on sad heart, courageously,

And thou shalt find thy dream shall be,

A noonday and truth to thee."

I find dreams intriguing one reason is when we are awake and confused about a situation because we don't know what we want, our brain knows exactly what we want and tells us through different signs and symbols. Our dreams are our own personal jokers, full of riddles and rhymes that we wake up and most of the time forget instantly but it's exactly what we need to hear! Isn't that just incredible?

SO i'm determined to listen to my joker and take it's advice. I'm starting a dream journal and i'm gonna share it with you guys! I'll write down the date and time, dream, and symbols as well as their meanings. It will be amazing to 

see the results!

Ttfn

(Ta Ta for now) 

<3

BTW, my totally awesome photographic art with me as the subject!

I didn't really feel like painting or drawing...I was having one of those kind of days. SO I put together a makeshift studio, came up with an off the wall idea....and presto. It's Ke$ha and Black Swan inspired.
The whole idea of the shoot was hiding behind someone i'm not. I'm not a dark person....see? I don't know. Thought i'd try some different kind of art this time :]

Hehe make shift studio! :3

It's my choice, and I choose to be happy.

I woke this morning and said "I don't need any of you". I told myself I don't need the drama or the whining, the broken promises or half-hearted commitments. I'm done with the games and the boys. And I say boys because only "boys" play games. I am an independent woman with dreams and goals for my life, and I don't need anyone who will slow me down because they need the temporary fix for a broken heart. 

♥

Earlier today I wrote these words and every single one is true. I'm so done. I'm ready to make a final decision on this part of my life. I'm artist...and as such I CANNOT live with a constant depression. It shows in pictures, you see? 

I need happy.

Happy all around and not just because of one thing someone does but because I happy that i'm content with myself and how i'm living! I just want that for ONE MOMENT in my life. And I will find it. I will get that. I'm officially cutting out the one part of my life that always leads me to be depressed. 

It's like a little kid. You burn your hand...you hurt. You try again if you're stupid enough cause you thought the first time was a practical joke. 

Love goes like this. You love, you hurt, you try again. You never fail to see that's you're stupid to try again cause you thought it was a cruel joke the first time. 

We always wish don't we?

Eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles.

We've tried it all. 

Why don't we try making those wishes happen? You notice we wish for stuff that is totally out of our reach?

....then again maybe we should wish like that. 

I'm just saying from a personal point of view...i'm tired of being sad when a guy walks by and doesn't even look. Or you sit next to a cute guy for an hour in an office or at school and they don't even give you the light of day? You've dressed your best, you DID YOUR HAIR. You had to get up early to do that, you know? Plus you attempted the make up...and you're thinking "Come on, notice". 

I don't want to worry.
I don't want to worry about what some guy thinks of my outfit cause quite honestly, i'm in college. I will most likely be in athletic shorts, hat with a ponytail, a camp t-shirt, and flip-flops. I say...if a guy likes me, he will like me for me. JUST me. If they can't see me for a college girl on the track to success so I didn't have time to get dressed up to come to school, then well...they sure as heck don't deserve to see me at my best. 

So...to the boys:

Learn to treat a woman how they ought to be treated. 

Run with them, don't try to run their life.

Don't think of yourselves higher...it's cocky. We don't like cocky.

You're not cool, so don't try.

When a girl REALLY falls for you, why don't not have the decency to catch her!? 

Try, just once, to make things work.

Do what she likes, not what you could "make her like".

Know that we're giving you a chance with our hearts cause there is something about you we find trustworthy...we're not a game. 

So i've said all I have to say...not much really to follow up with :]

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down."

-Author Unknown

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."  

-Anaïs Nin